This weeks readings struck very close to home for me. I was a self harmer when I was younger. I know the relief/release you feel when you cut yourself. It's almost an indescribable feeling. I used to do it to releive pain, but also because I thought I should be punished. I felt I was a bad person and that I should hurt because of it. I hurt the people around me (my mom, and siblings especially) with my actions, so I needed to hurt too, and cutting was one of the ways I did it. I also punched things, pulled my hair out, and sometimes would dig my nails into my skin as hard as I could.
As an adult I have learned to control the urges to harm myself, but I was well into my 20's before I had the self control to do that.
The article about deliberate self harm under the age of 15 was very informative. I didn't start to do it til I was at least 16 or 17 years old. I know now that I should keep an eye out for my son who will be 13. It seems like the risk factors for this are very similar to the risk factors for deliquency. Scary how things like that corralate together.
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Amy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! What alternative way did you find to cope with your pain?
I don't know that I really have found a way. I suppose just crying and yelling when I feel like I am at that point help. Also just talking myself out of it helps too.
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